Inexperience can be scary. We walk into new situations/a new job/ start a new hobby and everything is new, maybe a little uncomfortable, and we can often feel a strong dose of imposter syndrome “oh god, someone’s going to realise I don’t have a clue what I’m doing”.

I have had a lot of this in the past twelve months. My ‘new language’ has been the foundations of setting up a business. I was clueless, I was scared, but I’m still determined. It has been exactly like learning a new language thinking about social media presence, setting up a website, getting a logo designed and now moving onto level two of language class – how do I develop it further? What do I need to do to keep my presence current? Is it more finically savvy to have a set rented location for client sessions or to rent a therapy room per session?

Imposter syndrome creeps in a few times a week. When this happens I look for the evidence – moving from ‘what if’ to ‘what is’. I talk to myself about the evidence of how far I’ve come with working on my business, the evidence of clients who keep coming back to work with me, the reality that when I feel under pressure to be somewhere further up the ladder (whatever that means) that the timeline I’m on is my own and is there really any need for that pressure.

Going to a counsellor/life coach can initially be like learning a new language. Thoughts, reactions and behaviours that have been subconscious or beyond awareness are suddenly in the spotlight. For some clients talking about their experiences from the perspective of feelings rather than thoughts can feel scary, a little uncomfortable. But as with learning a new language, once you become familiar with vocabulary, get braver with expression, and are willing to make mistakes and not expect to be fluent from the start, it all gets a bit easier.

Movement in therapy happens from a developing awareness. Without awareness of why you do what you do how can you hope to change the things that hold you back from being your authentic self and living to your full potential.

Awareness occurs when you open up to the new dialogue of therapy and show a willingness to alter how you talk to yourself, to question scripts and update your language of engagement. It may be a little scary at first and it may feel uncomfortable initially but trust me, learning a new language is always worth it.

Following on from my last blog entry on change, let’s look at potential. There can be a range of associated emotions that we feel when the word ‘potential’ is used.

Opportunity, excitement, achievement or pressure, expectation, change

Which category do you fall into? Perhaps it’s a bit of both. For me, the thing that bridges these two perceptions is ‘challenge’

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”

• Marianne Williamson

We are the greatest barriers to accessing our own potential. Overcoming the challenges of opportunity, pressure, passion and expectation require – above all else – belief. Belief that the resources and resilience to rise up either exist within already or will awaken by the process of challenging ourselves to become version of ourselves we wish to be.

It is essential to understand that potential is about you – how you relate to yourself as you are now and who you want to become. It is NOT about weighty expectations of others.

Potential can be as big as your biggest dream or as everyday as watching the sunset while considering the potential of tomorrow…

It’s a fact of life, an inevitability and yet so many of us remain in resistant to it. Some even go so far as to remain in a situation that makes them unhappy (miserable even) in order to avoid it.

Change.

We’ve all heard the messages from clichés, songs, movies, books… no one can change your life except for you; change the way you look at things and the things you look at change; if you can’t change it, change your attitude; there is nothing permanent except change; be the change you wish to see in the world (and the list goes on…)

For many people, change denotes fear, facing the unknown or moving out of a comfort zone…but what if we shifted our perspective instead, considering that change may bring opportunity, possibility, happiness, contentment, and fulfillment. There’s, at most, a 50/50 chance of negative vs positive outcomes. Be active in what you chose to place your belief in.

Focus goes where energy flows.

When we place our focus on worrying about the negative, we attract negative energy and thus are more likely to create a self-perpetuating negative outcome. So it stands to reason that when we place energy in the positive, believing in our own ability to withstand change, we attract more opportunity in our lives.

I have worked with many clients to improve their relationship with change. A simple technique to begin choosing our response to change rather than passively assuming a negative bias is to counterbalance the inner critic – presented with change, the ‘what ifs’ can compound any sense of anxiety or worry. So for every negative thought, counterbalance with one or two positive.

For example, “what if it doesn’t work out?” – “what if everything works out and I’m way happier?”

“what if I can’t do it?” – “what if I’m more capable than I give myself credit for?”

Change is as inevitable as the sunrise and sunset and is merely an opportunity for growth.

Inuka is a Swahili word meaning rise up – and Inuka is also the concept by which I developed my business from. Here, a new platform has been created that focuses on wellness, personal development, rising up against the obstacles that stop you from achieving your goals and rising up into your true self.

My name is Helena and I am a certified Life and Business Coach. I also hold a Higher Certificate in Counselling and Psychotherapy. 

My interest in the wellness area was sparked by my own personal development journey. I was so amazed by the power of talk therapy that I decided to leave the corporate world behind me, instead following a passion to aid others in their own lives as I had been helped. 

I offer one-to-one life coaching sessions where clients can work on a broad range of topics included but not limited to motivation, career or changing job, relationship, body image, confidence. You may not even know what it is you want or you may feel unclear on what to do in life.  Through life coaching, you will have the opportunity to explore what you want that truly resonates with your authentic self, and develop a plan to help you get there.

I primarily offer online sessions but depending on location I can offer walking sessions if desired. International clients are also very welcome and I will work with time differences to the best of my ability.

Coaching is about moving forward, setting goals, and developing plans to achieve those goals. Sessions are confidential. 

Why not check out my Inspired reads list for personally chosen recommendations to inspire and encourage your own journey of INUKA into your true self.